You may have heard of a man's teeth biting his own buttocks! Haven't you? This guy took off his dentures before sleeping at night and instead of putting it on his nightstand, he accidentally laid it on his bed. In the middle of the night when he rolled over, the teeth bit him in the buttocks. That is that story. But have you ever heard of Coca Cola biting a man on his face and causing serious harm? Probably not, right? Let us talk about that today then!
When I posted the picture of my injured face on facebook few weeks ago, my friends asked me if my peacocks became like Hitchcockian birds and pecked the heck out of my face. Those nascent little creatures are so small that they can hardly do any harm to anything at this stage in their life. If you had guessed that it was my wife who did the damage, perhaps a kiss that went wrong, then that could be a good alternative theory, and in fact I would have liked that to be the truth! But, that was not the case either.
I got crossfired in dogfight between my two lady dogs (namely "Pepsi" and "Coke") and my brother's gentlemen dog (named "Lucky") and I ended up getting bitten by one of my own ladies! I wanted to write about my experience in getting bitten by a dog today.
A lot of people think that if a dog bites a human then it must be rabid. That is not true. If a dog appeared sick and started biting a bunch of people unprovoked, then it might be encephalopathic and may have rabies. But with the pre-exposure vaccination that most dogs receive nowadays, you hardly find a rabid dog. So, most of the dog bites that you see are not "rabies related".
Fear and anxiety are terrible feelings. Humans have learnt to mute these emotions long ago by downing a shot of whiskey through their throat, or perhaps a grain of benzodiazepine or SSRI medication in the modern days. But what can animals do? They don't have access to Royal Salute in the wild. The only way to conquer fear and anxiety is to face the darn provoking situation. Just be a tough animal and face the evil. That is the only way.
When my brother got his dog (Lucky) as a 8 week old pup in 2012 my ladies were already a year old at that time. We should have gotten them to the dog park and allowed them to socialize right then and there. Instead what we did was to hold these dogs in our own laps to prevent them from biting each other. Now we have created a monster unintentionally! They have become archenemies for life (or death)!
Now Lucky is a fully grown up male dog. Whenever my brother visits me from Dallas, my ladies clearly show their intense urge to finish off "Lucky" for good! That is their current status. On the other day, when my brother came to visit me with his family, he had let his dog outside my house for a little pee break. Without knowing that, I let my ladies outside the house to take their pee break at the same time. And that was a disastrous decision. And when my ladies found "Lucky" right outside the door, they swore to defend their territory at any cost. They pounced on him and took a chunk of meat from his thoracic spine area. And I tried to save the unlucky "Lucky" by pulling him out of my ladies' mouth. And amidst all this chaos, I got bit on my face by one of my ladies, Coca Cola! It all happened in a split second and I had a big gash on my left side of the face. Boy, when fate decides to mess with you, just give it a split second, it can take your life away!
Anyway, all is well now. After $ 500 expenditure at the Animal urgent care, Lucky got few stitches and he is slowly healing. My face has healed well. It seems like I am going to have a big scar on my Sundara Vadana!
And that is when I got this idea to insure my face. Here in USA, insurance is everything. Whatever you can think off, just insure it. The whole society revolves around that. In fact the whole globe is getting insurance conscious and wants to insure everything that they have. And you see, now I am quite Americanized. So, it is time to get my face insured. Why, my face especially? In my profession, I need to have a very expressive face to talk to my clients. Obviously face is my asset. Since I have now experienced a bad dog bite right on my face, it is clear to me that my face is in extreme danger. Please don't think I missed my antipsychotic pill this morning and I am behaving delusional. I did take my antipsychotic and I am well. I am really speaking the truth!
So, I ventured into getting my face insured! When I did a Google search about people insuring their body parts, I realized that a lot of celebrities have done that already. For instance, I read that Jennifer Lopez has insured her buttocks for $ 300 million or some outrageous amount like that. I may not be a celebrity yet, but you know very well that I am on my way there!
While some arse has been reportedly insured for such a multimillion dollar figure, then what the heck is my face worth? I am very confused about how much to ask for! Now I want the readers of this blog to think about the value of my face without any bias! That too, I am talking about my face here and not the silly behind like Ms. Lopez! Honestly answer my question. I don't want to insure it for $ 300 million like J Lo, but at least few millions, don't you think?
Please reply to me ASAP about my face's worthiness, because I am meeting my insurance agent tomorrow.
No comments:
Post a Comment