For those God believing ones, you certainly don't want to mess with two incredible desires that He gave you - reproductory and alimentary. The eyes and ears sure do bring pleasures to the mind, but those desires are never "irresistible". On the other hand, we get "irresistible" desires for certain things in life - for example - an intense desire to eat a bucket full of buttered up popcorn at the movie theater. Another example would be an intense desire to reproduce on some days (commonly called as "having sex"). For those that don't believe in God, let us just call these as "nature driven instincts". All life forms have these desires - going into intense heat to fornicate and getting intense desire to eat! These are "survival" instincts - without which a species would die and get extinct. You certainly don't want to mess with these two natural instincts.
I was at Cici's Pizza with the kids today. At a distant table we saw this obese couple, a man and a women, having lunch. They were fulfilling their intense desire to eat today. While no taller than me, at about 67 inches of height, each of that obese couple should a have weighed at least 350 pounds. Everybody at the pizza shop couldn't but help noticing that couple. They had two large pizzas on the table ready for their masters to eat them, while their plates were occupied by half of the ungobbled ones. It appeared that they were about to eat 2 large pizzas each, apart from the deserts and the ranch-laden salad.
And the family adjacent to my table saw them as well. That family appeared to be the liberal kind, you know, the kind that wouldn't hesitate to talk about pee, poop and fart with the same ease as wishing somebody "good morning". You can imagine what that family was going to do after seeing those 350 pounders. They got into "fat mama jokes". One of them shared a joke - "your mama is so fat that when she sat on the iphone, it became an ipad". That was quite a technical one, 4" iphone getting squished to become a 10" ipad. The other one shared a fat joke as well - "your papa is so fat that each of his buttock cheeks have their own telephone area code". I changed the second joke from "mama" to "papa" to prove that in my blog I will never allow gender discrimination.
Of course the above kids stopped sharing fat jokes after the elders at the table reprimanded them for behaving silly. Those jokes got me thinking a little bit about the word "fat". We are now living in a society where euphemistic expressions have begun to replace offensive words. What would have been called as "handicapped" once upon a time, later became called as "disabled". Blind became "visually challenged", mentally retarded became "mentally challenged" etc. But even those expressions failed to say something positive about the challenged people. "Visually challenged" is still a negative word combination. And hence, nowadays I see people use other ways to denote a challenged person. For example, the expression "alternatively abled", acknowledges the negative aspect of being blind, yet, brings something positive about it by alluding to a probable alternative sensory hypertrophy to compensate for the visual loss.
And now, about fatness, it is funny how our society has come to consider this word as a very disdainful one. To get a fat check from an employer is a good one. But to be fat is bad. Actually, to be fat is not necessarily bad, but to be called as "fat" has become a very very bad thing. In fact, it has become so bad that you can even sue somebody just because they used the word "fat".
Then how about the word "obese"? I guess that is a bad one too! Who likes to be called as an obese person? That person at Cici's pizza probably wouldn't want to be addressed that way. He would have just wanted the world to look at him as a very "normal person". If you asked him if he was a "glutton" and ate indiscriminately, he probably would respond to you in the negative. I guess "gluttony" is a bad word as well.
And thus we have come to a stage in earth's life, where we can't even call a spade a spade. We probably would have to resort to using long sentences such as "people who have a lot more weight per square inch of their body compared to our forefathers". But that is an awful wastage of words to describe something that our sensible forefathers simply called as "fat".
Bhumi Devi is the Indian Goddess that represents mother earth. Her weight may be near constant, but the weight of people occupying the mother earth is growing at an alarming proportion. Mechanized world has created a monster out of us! Ambulating, cleaning dishes, washing clothes etc were once upon a time our chores, but now machines have snatched all these jobs from us. Soon we may all be very well like what they show in the movie "Wall-E". Horizontally challenged sloths, lungs not being able to expand against the restrictively opulent abdominal pannus, unable to breath properly, hooked to respirator, just adiposity all around, lacking muscular tissue, severely sarcopenic, sitting in motorized wheelchair, unable to locomote or fornicate! What a pitiable existence!
Anyway, for now, I feel like I have written a very long blog portending a very sad future for all of us - the humans. When you are at Cici's Pizza after paying $ 3.49 for their "all you can eat buffet", the desire to eat more and more comes from deep within us! Who can bell the fat cat - the insatiety demon?!
Writing this blog has made me very depressed about the fate of our entire human race. It is the end of the day and I am tired. And since I also feel sad, I feel I am entitled to succumb to one of the two "irresistible desires" of life that I talked about in the first paragraph of this blog. It is a dangerous thing to try to reproduce without spousal permission, and hence I am going go the eating route, which clearly is an easier option! That is just between me and myself! So, I am going to get a nice cup of Banana split ice cream from my freezer and gobble it up like nobody's business.
Cheers and have fun y'all! Until my next blog - see you all later, alligator!
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