Thursday, July 17, 2014

The Peacock Whisperer thanks you profusely!


Thank you all of you for unanimously voting in my favor in the Executive Committee Meeting today and conferring on me the title "The Peacock Whisperer".

I am continuing with my peacock training journey. Today my peacocks are 10 days old (born 07/07/2014). I have started training them to fly. I have about half a million frequent flyer miles in various airlines, and hence with such extensive flying experience, who is a better educator to teach these birds to fly? I have devised a very simple technique. Yet, it is a very special technique that trains all the parts of the bird's brain. It is like the 7 minute abs exercise, but instead of the abs, it will train the brain. This training creates the perfect neuronal network across the bird's cerebrum, cerebellum and medulla oblongata and prepares these birds to take their first flight effectively. 

Please see the first 15 seconds of the video that I have uploaded in Youtube, where I am demonstrating my patented flight training technique. I take the pea chick about 3 feet above the ground and show them the ground, then waver the hand up and down few times to prepare them for the flight and then launch them like the Wright brothers first flight. I know you will get tremendously impressed with my technique especially when you realize the fact that it came to my mind spontaneously while I have not done any elaborate aerodynamic studies like the Wright brothers. Just like the way one fine morning, Einstein realized "E=MC2" all in his mind without doing elaborate experiment like the modern day scientists in laboratories, my new flight technique idea dawned in my brilliant mind today without any effort. 


Please see the rest of the video to see how the peacocks are socializing with me. I am a very humble man, and hence don't start praising me immensely after seeing the video. I don't like praise. My only goal is to teach all the birds to fly effectively. Excluding farts, there is enough air all around us and these birds need to learn to use them properly. That is my only truly altruistic desire.

Some birds will stall when I drop them from 3 feet height. Some may get injured a little bit. But, they recover quickly. Some birds who have not learnt to use their wings effectively will end up in free fall like in a Six flags ride. Those may develop "Post-traumatic stress disorder" because of the trauma of their botched up first flight. Now that you have started calling me as the "Peacock Whisperer", do you think I will ignore those injured pea chicks? I am developing a disability program for them. I will put them through proper rehabilitation for any physically injured birds during their first flight. I am teaming up with some physical therapist and occupational therapists for this purpose. I will use my personal funds and pay the therapists without charging the peacocks any money.

I do feel sad that these little chicks have been taken away from their mothers at such young age. But we have to look at the human species and learn from them. They have successfully proven that parents are not needed at all to raise any children. Think about the babies that are made by drug addict mothers and fathers. And think about the countless money that the state welfare programs spend in raising those children in foster parenting homes. Many of those babies are physically abused. Some of them are raped by their own family members and close friends. It is so sad what happens in a parentless child's life. They say that some of those human kids develop conditions like "anxiety", "depression". They may start doing drugs in turn just like their parents as well. The continuum of morbidity seen in these families is sad. My peacocks will learn from such a human society.

Again thank you guys, for giving me this great day. I like the title Peacock Whisperer. Just like our dog whisperer Cesar Millan who had a very humble beginning in Mexico, I had a meager little start in India. Even though it appears that I have now emerged as a major competitor to Cesar Millan, I am still very good friends with him. In fact I have him as my facebook "close friend" along with Julia Roberts, who incidentally happens to be a good friend of mine as well. When you write an article about me in Wikipedia, please don't report me as a Cesar Millan's competitor or hater. I love Cesar Millan. I just want to get the record straight!

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