Raga Marvels - Hamsanadam and Varali

Thank you to all of those thousands of people who listened to my previous raga alapana and tried to figure out what raga it was as per my request. Now, before we go into the answers to those questions, I sang again today. I sang Varali and Hamsanadam.

These two are seemingly unrelated ragas. But, you know what, these are so closely related to each other genetically. Let us see how!

Varali - it is the 39th melakartha raga with all the 7 swaras:

Sa Ri1 Ga1 Ma2 Pa Da1 Ni3 Sa

Sa Ni3 Da1 Pa Ma2 Ga1 Ri1 Sa

The first Rishabha, the first Gandhara and all the ones and twos are confusing isn't it? That is why I want to use a new methodology to denote music. Who knows - this may become the accepted methodology in the future scientific world. Since there are 12 notes in one octave, we can't use the decimal system to notate them. Hence, I went with the hexadecimal system.

Please see the piano key note charting that I have included as an image in this blog. That is self-explanatory. My hexadecimal notation is marked in "red ink". Now this new notation system removes the complexities of music, ie, whether you have to play the small Ri, or big Ri, or E sharp or E flat etc. The new hexadecimal system that I have given you below doesn't have any ambiguity. If you are a student of carnatic music and want to try ragas and don't know where to start, here you go, today after reading this blog you can play Varali and Hamsanadham!

Lakshmi's Hexadecimal Nomenclature	Western Nomenclature	Indian nomenclature	Physics
0	C	Sa	X+X0/12
1	C# or Db	Ri1	X+X1/12
2	D natural	Ri2 or Ga1	X+X2/12
3	D# or Eb	Ri3 or Ga2	X+X3/12
4	E natural	Ga3	X+X4/12
5	F natural	Ma1	X+X5/12
6	F# or Gb	Ma2	X+X6/12
7	G	Pa	X+X7/12
8	G# or Ab	Da1	X+X8/12
9	A natural	Da2 or Ni1	X+X9/12
a	A# or Bb	Da3 or Ni2	X+X10/12
b	B natural	Ni3	X+X11/12
0	C	Sa	X+X12/12

Varali in my hexadecimal notation system would be represented as: 012678b0! That is it! Isn't that darn simple to notate a ragam?

And now - Hamsanadam is a pentatonic ragam with just 5 swaras:

Sa Ri2 Ma2 Pa Ni3 Sa

Sa Ni3 Pa Ma2 Ri2 Sa

And in my hexadecimal notation system this would be notated as: 0267b0! That is it.

Now you take your keyboard and practice the above two ragas based on the notation that I gave you! You are done. You have learnt the above two ragas! But, without gamakas, there is no Indian music, both North and South Indian. We will talk about the gamakas in future.

Look how similar these two ragas are - 0267b0 is Hamsanadam and 012678b0 is Varali - there are two extra notes in Varali compared to Hamsanadam - add the note "1" between "0" and "2" and add note "8" after "7" and that is it! That makes the pentatonic Hamsanadam into the heptatonic Varali!  The psychoacoustic quality of the raga completely changes between these two ragas just because of subtle addition of such close notes as above.

And look at the genius of the Indian music system - in no other world music system that I know of, do we have a raga like Varali - it has got 4 straight adjacent notes such as b012 (which are 4 continuous note in the keyboard) and after skipping notes 345, it then recruits 3 adjacent notes again - 678! Wow! How can you make melody out of this cacophonic mess! That is the beauty of Indian music system!

Listen to wonderful Thyagaraja's Bantureeti Kolu in Hamsanadam or Papanasam Sivan's Kaa Vaa Vaa in Varali and then go to your Keyboard practice! Cheers!

We will talk about the answers to my previous questions soon!

Animal & Bird Friendly Macbook Air

Apple Macbook Air is clearly more animal/bird friendly than Microsoft Windows.

Look at this video. These pea chicks love to get on top of this Macbook Air.

Perfect heat from Intel i5 processor - warm and cozy for the pea chicks!

Perfect heat dissipation in-built small fan attached to the motherboard!

Perfect LCD lighting @ 1600 x 900 pixel resolution!

Perfect chiclet key size and feel - very comfortable for the pea chicks to walk on!

Perfect illuminated keyboard so that the pea chicks won't get lost!

My God! Apple is brilliant in what it does! Both myself and my pea chicks love the Macbook Air! Thank you Steve Jobs, for making this!

Song on Goddess Saraswati, Amruthavarshini raga & Music quiz

If you had few minutes please listen to my amma’s song that I uploaded in youtube recently. This is the 4th song of hers that I have uploaded so far. She wrote this song on Goddess Saraswathi. Ragam is Amruthavarshini.

In the creator/preserver/destructor triumvirate, the Brahma, Vishnu, Shiva mummoorthies, so to speak, lord Brahma is kind of like divine step child. You would want to assume that the creator, Lord Brahma would be as important as the other two, but for reasons unclear, the rest of them became a lot more popular than Lord Brahma. They got all the temples, all the offerings from the Bhakta jana (especially Vishnu getting such a fortune in Tirupati alone) while Brahma got nothing. Is the theory true that Hindu people favored those Gods that possessed weapons (such as Vishnu with his Sudarshana Chakra, and Shiva with his Trident) and since Brahma did not have any armamentarium, he got banned? 

Or is it true that Lord Shiva cursed Brahma that he wouldn't have anybody in the world worship him? I guess we will never get to know the answer to this idiosyncratic discrimination of one of the most important Hindu Gods! It kind of sounds silly that Lord Shiva would curse him like that, but my amma, chose not to discriminate at all! She wrote this song on Lord Brahma’s wife, Goddess Saraswati!

Pallavi:

Veenai Aendhum Vaaniyae

vedham potrum puraaniyae!

Anupallavi:

Brahma devan paththini

kribai seidhennai rakshi nee!

Charanam:

Paadum paatin porulum nee

Aedum, aettin vadivam nee

Thaedum gnaana guruvum nee

Unai naadum enakku arula vaa!

Writers take the liberty in twisting existing words, change it into a new form and give it a new meaning. That is a matter of their creativity. Shakespeare is credited with creating about few thousand English words. I remember long ago reading a Tamil word in a popular writer's novel. He did something like that. The opposite of Tamil word “Iyarkai” (இயற்கை, meaning natural) is “seyarkai” (செயற்கை, meaning unnatural). I remember this Tamil writer to have coined a new word “un-iyarkai” (அனியர்கை). That is a polyglottic expression, mixing “un” from English and then adding “Iyarkai” (இயற்கை) from Tamil and then making a new, funny word out of it. I think it was in a Sujatha’s book that I read that. Once a word like this gets coined, then it is up to the public to use it or not. When shakespeare used “friended” instead of “befriended”, people could have ridiculed him for writing “wrong English”. But, Shakespeare knew better. What is right and what is wrong in this world! As long as it conveyed what he wished to express, then he must have gotten happy with it and not worried about the readers. Let them interpret it however they want to, and if they chose to call Shakespeare as a guy who didn’t know to write proper English, then so be it!

My amma did something like Shakespeare in this song. She chose to call Goddess Saraswati as “Puraani”, meaning, a Goddess that is described in “Puranam” (the scriptures), and also used it to denote “a Goddess belonging to the really really olden times” (Puranam means “old” as well). And then she took it upon her creativity to make that word into a feminine gender by calling her as “Puraani”! Then “Puraanaa" could probably be used to denote masculine gender - like for instance, Lord Brahma!

And talking about Amruthavarshini - it is funny how this raga got associated with its ability to align all the clouds right over your head and pour all its moisture content on you as torrential rain! Does that really happen? No, it doesn't! It is just a silly folklore! It is like believing that the Gods would reward the politicians for offering their prayers and "black money" dumped into the Tirupati Hundial! As though Clouds and Gods don’t have anything else to do! They are as much children of mother Nature, just like as we all are, and they pour their pleasing rain or reward when the “Fate maharaja” orders those events to happen! So, the real power-monger in this universe is not the God, or the Satan, but our illusive "Fate Maharaja". He is the real Dharma raja!

And now guys, pardon me for using this opportunity to start singing! But I couldn't help it. Since amma did her song in Amruthavarshini, I chose sing a closely related raga, and elaborated 1.5 minutes of raga alapana. I hope you will listen to this video that I uploaded and make it as a viral hit so that I can become like Gangam style Psy! I promise you, I will pay $ 10 for each and every person who listened to my youtube video! After you listen to it fully, send me your invoice and address and I will send you the money from my Mahatma Gandhi bank! After you listen to it, please go to the music quiz below.

A) What is the name of this raga?

B) What is its relationship to Amruthavarshini, and Vasantha?

C) What is its relationship to Hamsavinodhini and Sankarabharanam?

D) What is the physical (tonal) relationship between Amruthavarshini’s “Ma Pa Ni” and Revathi’s “Sa Ri Ma”?

E) And do you have any comments about the psychoacoustic similarity or dissimilarity of the above two phrases in question D?

You can gladly write your comments below in the blog. I will update this blog in few days to discuss the answers to the above questions.

My first photograph sent to my wife!

In the good old days, that is, up to the time when Titanic sank, moms used to tell their daughters like Kate Winslet to marry a rich man like Billy Zane. And during those olden days, children used to listen to their parents without throwing a temper tantrum. Much to the chagrin of the yesteryear parents, look what has happened now in these modern days! Kids don't listen to their parents anymore. In any case, when the Titanic launched its first maiden voyage into the Atlantic, it dragged the whole world along with itself into the Kali Yuga. Remember what the Hindu mythology says about Kali Yuga? That is the time period when the good old societal norms would decay to such an extent that it would lead to the culmination of the world. 

Look what they showed in the Titanic movie! Kate Winslet started the demise of the world when she chose not to listen to her mother. Instead, she decided to bite the Leonardo DiCaprio apple that God told her not to bite! She decided to hang out with Leonardo DiCaprio for those 4 fateful days that they travelled together. She even proceeded to have her nuptials in the nice cushy back seat of the imported European car in the gigantic ocean liner Titanic. And look at all the calamity that followed that one couple's orgasmic moments! That stupid guy who was supposed to be watching out for the icebergs, ended up watching Kate Winslet romancing with Leonardo on the deck. And then the sad sad sad thing happened. The unsinkable Titanic sank 3.8 kilometers into the ocean ushering in the era of Kali Yuga! This is all just like what our forefathers exactly predicted about Kali Yuga! It was all Kate Winslet's fault!

That is the very reason why I didn't want to do anything to endanger the world. If I could save the world just by marrying a girl that my parents pointed out to me, then why wouldn't I do it? So, when it was time for me to marry in 1995, I nodded my head in approval allowing my parents to look for a girl for me. Whether you agree or not, in my opinion, I have demonstrated the highest selfless action a man could show to his fellow humans and animals to save the world. I did that in 1995 by not dating, courting, etc, instead, allowing my parents to find a girl for me. In my humble opinion, such immense benevolent action that I have shown in the interest of the world is worthy enough that my wax statue be made and kept amongst other celebrities at Madame Tussaud's wax museum.

Even my good looks can't make this crowded picture better

It is not my marriage day or anything for me to ponder about this particular subject this day. My wife happened to be cleaning up her stuff today and she found this picture of me that I had sent to her family in 1995. In this context I started writing this blog.

The first and the most important task in starting the matrimonial alliance is to get the picture right. Wealthy Indian parents would take their son/daughter to a nice studio and get a good picture. But I didn't have much money. Those were the days when American credit card companies had not yet bestowed the honor of "credit card ownership" on poor immigrant students like myself. A state of penury, so to speak! We would avidly collect coupons from Houston Chronicle newspaper! $ 1 off on any item, would mean a fortune to us! Each American dollar was worth about 36 Indian Rupees at that time. We would hoard all those Washingtons, Lincolns, and Hamiltons to "become rich". We the poor Indian immigrant students wouldn't have much of the Franklins in our wallet, because that man only adorned $ 100 bills and that was like being a millionaire at that time. 

Those were also the days when we would take photos in regular, non-digital cameras! Fully automatic camera with built-in flash was the best and we would wait patiently for several weeks and finally buy that type of camera during Christmas or New Year sale. And then the next task was to buy the film. Each roll would allow us to take 36 films, and it may take months to complete the entire roll. Once done, We would yank the roll of film and take it to KMart and give it to those ladies in customer service. I remember patiently waiting for 3 to 4 days to finally see the end results of our photographic skills. 

There are so many photographic elements in a good picture. Especially a picture that was taken with matrimony in mind! Was the lighting good? Having used "fair & lovely cream" for such long time, have I become fair yet (white skinned)? The more tanned the guy or the gal was, the lower the prospect of him/her to be sold well! That was the Indian matrimonial market at that time. In addition to the skin color,  I had another worry to fret about - my hair loss! Because I was already balding, I had to worry about how to comb deceptively in such a manner that the girl's dad wouldn't see my glabrous challenge. Have I combed all of my sparsely existing hair from one side of the scalp to the other side so that I looked like Cosmo Kramer instead of like George Costanza? 

OMG, I can't describe in words all the pains that we Indian men would have to go through at that time in India - all for what? Just to get a women enter our house - to give us the special benefits that a wife would give a man!

And now coming to this picture that my wife found today -  this is what I sent to her parents in 1995 when our matrimony was being arranged. When I looked at this picture today I was astonished to see how much I have changed since 1995. Me, a poor little immigrant couldn't afford to go to "Olan Mills" studio to get a nice picture of myself at that time. For Godsake, "Olan Mills" didn't publish mail-in-rebate coupons or "$ 5 off coupons" in local newspapers. In such coupon-dependent student life, I disagreed with the very existence of such mean companies. and felt that all such corporates should get an "F" rating in BBB, go bankrupt and get into oblivion. So, instead of a famed studio,  I allowed my roommate in Houston to shoot this most important picture of my life. He said he was an expert photographer who trained under P. C. Sriram (a famous Bollywood videographer).

I remember him telling me to sit in one corner of the room and taking the picture. And after he clicked the image, a miniature me was caught between 400 nm to 700 nm of the visible spectrum of light, stuck in the silver halide in that "Konica ISO 100 film" (that was the cheapest film roll that we could buy, and by the way, it came with mail-in-rebate in Kroger, so we bought it). I then remember taking that film to KMart to have it printed. In those days, you have to tell them if you wanted "matte" print or "glossy" print. I chose "glossy" print because that was cheaper and saved me a dollar. 

After I got it back from KMart, fresh off of the print, I was pretty dismayed. You tell me - does it look like that guy, my photographer roommate - trained under P. C. Sriram?!  When I showed the picture to him, with much disappointment, you know what he told me? "You should have not cribbed about the one dollar saving! You should have just gotten a "matte" finish print by paying a dollar extra and you would have looked better!

In any case, to end this story, I did choose to audaciously send that picture to that girl's parents. They were perusing through my matrimonial resume to see if I was worthy of becoming a lifelong in-dwelling partner for their daughter. Would she join me in holy matrimony? That was a million dollar question that I mailed to her family along with the above photograph from Houston to Oklahoma! 

While I hated my own photograph (if I was a women, I would have rejected the above guy), my wife, strangely said "yes" to the proposal! Wow, that was one heck of a luck for this son of a gun!

They would look good if I am in this picture

And now coming back to my request to be in Madame Tussaud's wax museum for having saved the world (unlike Kate Winslet), I hope those museum administrative guys read this blog and induct me into their hall of fame. Also, I request them NOT to put my statue up with the elderly men like Mahatma Gandhi or Nelson Mandela. Instead I request them to put me up next to young ladies like the Kardashians. I am making this recommendation not for my benefit, but I thought that Kim would look better next to me!

The Peacock Whisperer thanks you profusely!

Thank you all of you for unanimously voting in my favor in the Executive Committee Meeting today and conferring on me the title "The Peacock Whisperer".

I am continuing with my peacock training journey. Today my peacocks are 10 days old (born 07/07/2014). I have started training them to fly. I have about half a million frequent flyer miles in various airlines, and hence with such extensive flying experience, who is a better educator to teach these birds to fly? I have devised a very simple technique. Yet, it is a very special technique that trains all the parts of the bird's brain. It is like the 7 minute abs exercise, but instead of the abs, it will train the brain. This training creates the perfect neuronal network across the bird's cerebrum, cerebellum and medulla oblongata and prepares these birds to take their first flight effectively. 

Please see the first 15 seconds of the video that I have uploaded in Youtube, where I am demonstrating my patented flight training technique. I take the pea chick about 3 feet above the ground and show them the ground, then waver the hand up and down few times to prepare them for the flight and then launch them like the Wright brothers first flight. I know you will get tremendously impressed with my technique especially when you realize the fact that it came to my mind spontaneously while I have not done any elaborate aerodynamic studies like the Wright brothers. Just like the way one fine morning, Einstein realized "E=MC2" all in his mind without doing elaborate experiment like the modern day scientists in laboratories, my new flight technique idea dawned in my brilliant mind today without any effort. 

Please see the rest of the video to see how the peacocks are socializing with me. I am a very humble man, and hence don't start praising me immensely after seeing the video. I don't like praise. My only goal is to teach all the birds to fly effectively. Excluding farts, there is enough air all around us and these birds need to learn to use them properly. That is my only truly altruistic desire.

Some birds will stall when I drop them from 3 feet height. Some may get injured a little bit. But, they recover quickly. Some birds who have not learnt to use their wings effectively will end up in free fall like in a Six flags ride. Those may develop "Post-traumatic stress disorder" because of the trauma of their botched up first flight. Now that you have started calling me as the "Peacock Whisperer", do you think I will ignore those injured pea chicks? I am developing a disability program for them. I will put them through proper rehabilitation for any physically injured birds during their first flight. I am teaming up with some physical therapist and occupational therapists for this purpose. I will use my personal funds and pay the therapists without charging the peacocks any money.

I do feel sad that these little chicks have been taken away from their mothers at such young age. But we have to look at the human species and learn from them. They have successfully proven that parents are not needed at all to raise any children. Think about the babies that are made by drug addict mothers and fathers. And think about the countless money that the state welfare programs spend in raising those children in foster parenting homes. Many of those babies are physically abused. Some of them are raped by their own family members and close friends. It is so sad what happens in a parentless child's life. They say that some of those human kids develop conditions like "anxiety", "depression". They may start doing drugs in turn just like their parents as well. The continuum of morbidity seen in these families is sad. My peacocks will learn from such a human society.

Again thank you guys, for giving me this great day. I like the title Peacock Whisperer. Just like our dog whisperer Cesar Millan who had a very humble beginning in Mexico, I had a meager little start in India. Even though it appears that I have now emerged as a major competitor to Cesar Millan, I am still very good friends with him. In fact I have him as my facebook "close friend" along with Julia Roberts, who incidentally happens to be a good friend of mine as well. When you write an article about me in Wikipedia, please don't report me as a Cesar Millan's competitor or hater. I love Cesar Millan. I just want to get the record straight!

Facebookitis

This is a parody about facebook addiction that some people have - I posted it on my facebook page on 04/24/2014 after hearing the news that Mark Zuckerberg was inducted into the Madame Tussaud's hall of fame! 

Give it a try, read it, you may enjoy its dry humor! Don't think I was crazy posting something like this on my own Facebook page! I think this is going to be a common diagnosis in future!

Post by Lakshmi M. R. Kaushik.